tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post4034652112369790138..comments2023-04-03T04:16:22.729-04:00Comments on Me Plus One: Don't Feel Sorry For MeTiarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17511522028218347560noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-16052844534244064842014-05-01T12:29:13.338-04:002014-05-01T12:29:13.338-04:00I am going to go a step further and say that I bel...I am going to go a step further and say that I believe our decision is better than co-parenting. While I haven't looked at the site, to me it seems that co-parenting is like joint custody. I think that concept is hard on children (my parents divorced and I went through their co-parenting). I think one stable home with however many caregivers, whatever genders, and however related to the child is best. <br /><br />Someday people will realize that family function is way more important than family structure. And that the children of single mothers (especially by choice) are not destined for terrible childhoods. The reason single mothers do so poorly in the statistical research is more related to the poverty they tend to live in when trying to support a family alone than their singleness. Perhaps we could better invest our energy as a society in allowing women (and everyone else) to earn wages on which they can provide for their families. Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07341444268342551783noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-30180463843404237552013-05-17T11:12:45.317-04:002013-05-17T11:12:45.317-04:00I loved what you said about taking the desperation...I loved what you said about taking the desperation out of meeting Mr. Right. How many women (and men too, I suppose) have "settled" because they want to have a child and they feel the pressure? Probably a lot. Good for you for speaking up about a cause that's close to your heart!Emhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15069220262683215373noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-52540274168865762822013-02-02T14:24:16.909-05:002013-02-02T14:24:16.909-05:00Here from Creme. Great post. You are able to reall...Here from Creme. Great post. You are able to really zoom in on the ridiculous assumptions present in their argument.Turiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11694077473805539161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-59063868532926361952013-01-06T07:16:06.864-05:002013-01-06T07:16:06.864-05:00Beautiful post! I hate it when parenting choices g...Beautiful post! I hate it when parenting choices get distorted into judgements. You have captured that so well in these wonderful words. Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12964844809694215592noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-55264207433150054332013-01-06T07:12:10.277-05:002013-01-06T07:12:10.277-05:00Beautiful post! I hate it when parenting choices g...Beautiful post! I hate it when parenting choices get distorted into judgements. You have captured that so well in these wonderful words.Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12964844809694215592noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-939776077249247462013-01-05T13:08:25.761-05:002013-01-05T13:08:25.761-05:00Here from CdlC - bravo! Great post! Here from CdlC - bravo! Great post! Aliciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15032718306225742021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-81378634151385182262013-01-03T11:36:55.793-05:002013-01-03T11:36:55.793-05:00So empowered: "When I choose Single Motherhoo...So empowered: "When I choose Single Motherhood, I didn’t give up on love. I took the desperation out of meeting Mr. Right."<br /><br />Well said, Tiara.Lori Lavender Luzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15394441222262940632noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-45395561942215090302013-01-02T08:15:29.716-05:002013-01-02T08:15:29.716-05:00I remember Mel's post and it too raised my hac...I remember Mel's post and it too raised my hackles (not Mel's post, but the new site). I'm of the opinion that a child can and will be happy and well adjusted if raised in a loving home, regardless of how many parents are in it. Great post!JustHeatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05373768249873098150noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-15633684001488025672013-01-01T14:29:00.910-05:002013-01-01T14:29:00.910-05:00"I finally learned that one wasn’t dependant ..."I finally learned that one wasn’t dependant on the other & I could be a mother, fulfill that dream & still hold hope that I’ll meet a life partner someday." PREACH. Fulfilling one dream doesn't mean that the others won't come true. Elena is beautiful!dspencehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03028178955338687090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-37676375992523987262012-03-12T17:23:34.743-04:002012-03-12T17:23:34.743-04:00Great post!
I think there are studies that show th...Great post!<br />I think there are studies that show that our children are healthy, happy and balanced. What is important is not how many parents a child has, but the fact that he is loved. We SMCs go through quite a lot to have our children, and we sure love them :-).<br />There are advantages to shared parenting, but I am more than happy thatt I have my little girl all to my self :-).<br /><br />P.S<br />I see on the ticker that Elena has just had her first birthday. I am sure you have a bithhday post and all, but since I am so behind on my blog reading and I don't know when I'll get to it, I will say here and now HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR ELENA!!Billyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02344488411103420236noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-19199166280626824022012-03-02T17:48:22.093-05:002012-03-02T17:48:22.093-05:00Well well said! I totally agree with what you hav...Well well said! I totally agree with what you have written.Sunflowerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12666376683383060063noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-63598977589453778022012-02-28T23:41:05.774-05:002012-02-28T23:41:05.774-05:00I love this post - no time to give it the comment...I love this post - no time to give it the comment it deserves, but I LOVE it. Thank you!Shannonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14647211529119137824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-89623305567927046292012-02-28T12:59:41.957-05:002012-02-28T12:59:41.957-05:00That paragraph you wrote about your twenties/early...That paragraph you wrote about your twenties/early thirties? I could have written that! <br /><br />I agree they missed the true concept of "choice" when they wrote about SMC's who use donors to create their families. And they certainly have missed observing the healthy families headed by single women that I've had to the honor to know.Laraf123https://www.blogger.com/profile/13283945251427328960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-34398303501106494282012-02-28T07:32:42.243-05:002012-02-28T07:32:42.243-05:00This is it exactly: "The fact that this site ...This is it exactly: "The fact that this site diminishes my choices to promote their own."<br /><br />Resigned is never a word I'd use to describe any SMC I know. Empowered, sure. Tired, happy, self-assured. But not resigned.Lollipop Goldsteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-12077968536049896892012-02-25T22:21:27.167-05:002012-02-25T22:21:27.167-05:00Time is limited so I'll make this short, but I...Time is limited so I'll make this short, but I agree with you completely. I couldn't be happier with my decision to become a choice mom. I was talking to a fellow choice mom the other day and we both remarked how happy our babies are. Maybe because they are not around parents arguing over issues (including how to parent) they are happier children (at least before they hit their teen years and need to hate us for something so they choose the fact that there is no father). I really enjoyed how perfectly you expressed yourself here.Little Onehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07198562777228685277noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-66168828970299051252012-02-25T19:48:58.491-05:002012-02-25T19:48:58.491-05:00I completely agree with you. I'll stick with b...I completely agree with you. I'll stick with being a SMC.. and I am sure I can raise a healthy, happy, stable child!!! Thanks for your post.The Baby Chase Projecthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06597972326038892118noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-37195527187926350352012-02-25T17:35:10.141-05:002012-02-25T17:35:10.141-05:00As far as I can see, that site is a disaster waiti...As far as I can see, that site is a disaster waiting to happen. Also from what I saw, I think I'll stick to my donor.Navigating The Rapidshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17136888490226094765noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-78374049901195647932012-02-25T16:04:54.294-05:002012-02-25T16:04:54.294-05:00Bravo!! Applause! Applause!
You said it pretty el...Bravo!! Applause! Applause!<br /><br />You said it pretty eloquently to me!<br /><br />You hit the nail on the head and I can't speak for all SMC but for me you are dead on!<br /><br />Thank you for this post. <br /><br />Those idiots at that website need to read this!Michaelahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10618189040042084629noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-86264122764548543452012-02-25T14:55:46.868-05:002012-02-25T14:55:46.868-05:00I agree, I resent the implication that one parent ...I agree, I resent the implication that one parent homes (by choice) are somehow "less than". I decided against the co-parenting route because I felt like it could get very messy and traumatic for the child - I mean, this other person is bound to be in and out of relationships, have all kinds of life challenges over an 18 year period, decide to move, change jobs, etc. I'm sure there are plenty of happy co-parenting situations out there, but plenty that didn't exactly go the way the mother expected, either. There is zero research to support the statement that two-parented children are ALWAYS happier and more well-adjusted than single-parented children (unless the single-parented children in the study are below the poverty level and born to teenaged mothers, which is almost always the case in these "studies"). So, yeah, I feel your outrage.wottadollhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16527435736562324563noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-15136866432863663732012-02-25T13:55:08.129-05:002012-02-25T13:55:08.129-05:00Uhm, yeah, they are full of crap. They are putting...Uhm, yeah, they are full of crap. They are putting going down the single mom-sperm bank route because they want to promote themselves, its like a political attack ad, don't vote for the other party because they suck, vote for ME. Thinking about it that way is the only way I'm refraining from getting majorly pissed off.<br /><br />If all really goes well, then I'd say yeah, the modafamily's route is better than being a single mom, because you give your child 2 parents instead of one. But when on earth do all things go well? Probably for maybe 1-2 out of 10 couples reproducing in this way. <br /><br />2 strangers are likely to fight when they become roomates. When they decide to have a KID together? Two people who fall in love and get married and then decide its not working out can savage their child in a custody battle-- I shudder to think what two strangers who have never been in love with each other may decide to do when the co-parenting experiment fails. Its likely to get seriously ugly, I pity anybody stupid enough to do this without an ironclad legal contract first.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15553205805046479504noreply@blogger.com