tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post7482134699754060701..comments2023-04-03T04:16:22.729-04:00Comments on Me Plus One: Sibling RivalryTiarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17511522028218347560noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-55609946587104961972012-05-14T12:57:19.399-04:002012-05-14T12:57:19.399-04:00I totally get it!! I am planinig on #2 but not fo...I totally get it!! I am planinig on #2 but not for 2-3 years still. Mainly due to the cost of day care. I am lucky though that the IVF route I took left me with many viable frozen embryos. So I don't have to worry about my eggs or getting more donor.<br /><br />As for the donor siblings... as you know I have recently met one of Elsie's and I am plannign to meet more. She is 1 of 13 on DSR. But another mother asked the bank and there are 20+ families registered. It maybe you chose the same donor as families that are hesittant to be "public" about it. But you may find as the children themselves get older, they may come forward on their own.<br /><br />I agree with Shannon... Elena will know how much you love her and that you are a great mom!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-3573440961356137622012-05-06T22:32:12.333-04:002012-05-06T22:32:12.333-04:00When contemplating T42, we're going to have wo...When contemplating T42, we're going to have worries no matter which we chose. It's hard being a single mom - I've wondered if Finn will resent me for having a second if I'm lucky enough to have another. <br /><br />Hopefully they'll grow up knowing that we made the best decisions that we could, and love us for trying our best to do the right thing for them.Shannonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14647211529119137824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-48228224348718136642012-05-04T16:12:31.611-04:002012-05-04T16:12:31.611-04:00Thank you for recognizing how important it is to m...Thank you for recognizing how important it is to me to provide financially for Elena & I. In no way do I believe money makes things right or better but it sure does make a difference if you have it than if you don't. With just the 2 of us we will be secure & comfortable, if there was 3 of us we would be struggling to make ends meet & I would be stressed about that a great deal of the time.Tiarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17511522028218347560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-59799618903840340092012-05-04T16:07:43.136-04:002012-05-04T16:07:43.136-04:00I agree with you about the benefits of having sibl...I agree with you about the benefits of having siblings. I value my relationship with my brother so very much & hate that Elena won't have that. As I mentioned above, I fear she will resent me for making this choice.Tiarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17511522028218347560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-67249345173795570002012-05-04T16:06:14.375-04:002012-05-04T16:06:14.375-04:00Thank you for understanding how sad I've been ...Thank you for understanding how sad I've been feeling about not T42. It's not that I am sad with my life or that Elena isn't good enough, I'm just afraid she will resent me for not providing a sibling for her.Tiarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17511522028218347560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-9545358966584019662012-05-04T16:04:25.143-04:002012-05-04T16:04:25.143-04:00I have thought about another donor but I can't...I have thought about another donor but I can't quite articulate why I don't want to do that.Tiarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17511522028218347560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-32926104075070559972012-05-03T09:20:03.308-04:002012-05-03T09:20:03.308-04:00Interesting post. I always wanted 2 children even ...Interesting post. I always wanted 2 children even though I only started trying at 39. I even hoped for twins actually. Fast ffd 4 years later and now I will be lucky if I even have one :-( <br />I would love for my future child to have a genetic sibling (I am using DE)...but I dont think that will happen. <br />I do have to say, Tiara, that you are a very responsible parent and are looking out for yours and her future. If this is what you feel comfortable with, Elena will be fine with it too.Sunflowerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12666376683383060063noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-57291522127062514462012-05-02T13:55:01.280-04:002012-05-02T13:55:01.280-04:00I'm so behind in my reading that I didn't ...I'm so behind in my reading that I didn't see this before I posted on the same topic today. I just found out my son's donor is in severe limited supply and then struggled with the importance of him having a full blooded sibling. It's a tough call. Especially when you tie in the financial issues. It's definitely a personal choice but I admit I've chosen to reduce my contribution to my retirement fund in hopes to have a second child. To me it was a worthwhile sacrifice for not just me but for Gavin as well. I have three siblings and I can't imagine not giving my son the ability to have the same bond that I have with my siblings. I think its even more important when I think about him not having a dad around. Even if Gavin's donor wasn't available, I would still try for a second child based on the benefits of having a sibling.<br /><br />I hope you don't feel guilty about your decisions. It's what's best for you and Elena. I shouldn't say this because I hated when people said this to me so please forgive me if this iritates you but have you considered being a foster parent? I'm not sure how it works in Canada but in the US the goverment covers the cost to support your foster child. This would allow you to give Elena the sibling experience without causing you to be stress out over financial issues. Plus it's a wonderful gift to give a needy child a good home with a great mom, even if it's just for a short time.Loreleihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15328570422566719807noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-86801562878628223442012-05-02T02:44:51.703-04:002012-05-02T02:44:51.703-04:00While I can't yet relate to your post-baby exp...While I can't yet relate to your post-baby experiences regarding emotions and finances I can relate to the sad process of whittling down the number of children you think you'll have because growing up I used to want at least five kids too.<br /><br />But like Little One said having a second baby or not having a second is a very personal decision and I am glad you are coming to a place where you are happy with the way things are. At the same time I can't help but be a little sad reading this post. Giving up a dream like that is just so damn hard.Irishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00642441354952135471noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-56538010436692992752012-04-29T15:00:49.193-04:002012-04-29T15:00:49.193-04:00I've been thinking of you since I read your po...I've been thinking of you since I read your post yesterday, but I didn't have the chance to reply. I had gone back and forth many times before deciding to T42. It certainly is a very personal and difficult choice to make. I was going to ask you if you had considered T42 with a different donor, but you answered that in a reply to someone else. Believe me, I think all the time how lucky I am with Scarlett and wonder if I should tempt fate by T42. In any case, you have a lovely little girl. Here's to you two making a lifetime of memories together :)Little Onehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07198562777228685277noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-54839726590450227352012-04-28T22:25:11.328-04:002012-04-28T22:25:11.328-04:00I do know in my heart it's what is best for us...I do know in my heart it's what is best for us but I'm still working on being ok with itTiarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17511522028218347560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-72938984147297752292012-04-28T22:22:36.099-04:002012-04-28T22:22:36.099-04:00Thank you for saying Elena would understand, I sur...Thank you for saying Elena would understand, I sure hope she doesTiarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17511522028218347560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-45251544436630051382012-04-28T22:20:14.012-04:002012-04-28T22:20:14.012-04:00I agree with not wanting to push my luckI agree with not wanting to push my luckTiarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17511522028218347560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-23995986839997833922012-04-28T22:18:17.153-04:002012-04-28T22:18:17.153-04:00Knowing Elena's donor was no longer available ...Knowing Elena's donor was no longer available helped me decide for sure...Tiarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17511522028218347560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-70628568475579032242012-04-28T22:16:33.618-04:002012-04-28T22:16:33.618-04:00I agree, if I had a partner or more money my mind ...I agree, if I had a partner or more money my mind would change...Tiarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17511522028218347560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-54498704412903741872012-04-28T18:23:05.106-04:002012-04-28T18:23:05.106-04:00Yes, that is a hard decision to make, but I think ...Yes, that is a hard decision to make, but I think good for you for looking deep inside your heart and following what is true for you.Billyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02344488411103420236noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-84310763649659873882012-04-28T17:12:09.953-04:002012-04-28T17:12:09.953-04:00I wanted several children for the longest time too...I wanted several children for the longest time too. I still do. Not practical = understatement of the century for me. It won't happen. Being okay with that is hard but far easier than regrets. I'm not there yet, the being okay part. <br />Elena will be just fine. You've got a great life set up. She'll understand the what and the why as she gets older.Gillehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12231416156357445330noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-21358971947658713802012-04-28T16:57:35.071-04:002012-04-28T16:57:35.071-04:00I always assumed I would go for two. I didn't...I always assumed I would go for two. I didn't like the idea of having an only child. But now that I have one, I can't imagine having another. I don't know if she has any donor siblings. There aren't any on the registry and I got the impression our donor wasn't very popular. I still don't like the thought of her being on only child, but I feel like I got so lucky with her I don't think I could be as lucky twice.SurlyMamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15933109106254963802noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-90367997133293756342012-04-28T15:50:20.992-04:002012-04-28T15:50:20.992-04:00You know I've blogged extensively on this topi...You know I've blogged extensively on this topic. Even though my mind is pretty well made up on just having the one, I'm sure I'll always wonder "what if". It's a tough issue. But I know for me unless my circumstances drastically change (finding a partner or making a lot more money) it just isn't practical...then there's the thought of enduring another labor ((shudder))wottadollhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16527435736562324563noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1889860626088154355.post-42981051911676688212012-04-28T15:41:37.757-04:002012-04-28T15:41:37.757-04:00ALthough I know I might be in the same boat I have...ALthough I know I might be in the same boat I have not closed the door all the way yet on another sibbling. She has 23 donor siblings and likely much more ( not sure how I feel about that), he was a popular guy. I suppose if he is still available I may try (before I turn 42). If he is not, then she will be my one and only.Navigating The Rapidshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17136888490226094765noreply@blogger.com