12 Weeks

I can hardly believe that I'm 12 weeks pregnant! This last week & a half or so has been a turning point of sorts...I've experienced a lot of tugging & pulling feelings in my lower abdomen & it seems as though my belly is protruding some...but I'm also extremely bloated & gassy so am not sure how much is Baby & how much is gas. I've been feeling quite uncomfortable lately...I feel very huge & constricted...on the upside the queasy feelings are gone...though I still experience food aversions. My breasts are now only mildly tender but are definitely denser & heavier...& yes, unfortunately bigger. Hormones are getting the better of me...I've been feeling almost like PMS. I also get pretty weepy for no reason...a song I've heard a million times before can now bring tears to my eyes & I can't explain why...I cry at just about every TV show I watch...like Big Brother! I mean that is the most ridiculous show yet I found myself crying at something stupid that happened on it! I watched Inglorious Basterds on Sunday & balled my eyes out at the beginning & a few other parts to! You know you're being affected by hormones when you cry at Quentin Tarantino films!!

I spent part of last weekend with my nephews (M, 7 & H, 5) & they are so funny about Baby. Very curious & very excited...while we were sitting in a cafeteria style place for dinner, a family sat at the table next to us & had a newborn who was crying up a storm...well M says to me, "You see that Tia (that's what they call me)...That's what you're going to get. I hope you're ready." And H has graciously offered to help with changing diapers, even the poopy ones! They have also come up with some interesting names...they are sure it will be a boy & have suggested "Ranger" & "Wolfgang"...My aunt is calling Baby "Raspberry" from when it was that size...when it became the size of a prune that just didn't have the same ring...

I've also told everyone at work about Baby...I'm hoping I didn't jump the gun but it just felt right to tell everyone & they are all very excited for me...it makes things easier since now they know why I'm tired all the time & why I can't change the water cooler bottle.

I do have my moments where I'm terrified something will go wrong. My next U/S is September 1st & it can't get here soon enough...I just need to be reassured that everything is okay with Baby...but really, for the most part, I can keep my fears at bay & I focus on all the signs that everything is perfectly fine.

Lastly, another HUGE congratulations...this time to Shannon on her BFP!! Another thing that made me cry this week...but I think this one was justified :)

Choice Mom Event in Toronto!!

I'm just so excited! There is going to be a Choice Mom event organized by Mikki Morrissette in Toronto on September 25th!! I have already registered & am so excited to go!

It was through her site that I was introduced to the Blogosphere & I just loved her book Choosing Single Motherhood! It's just an afternoon but it sounds like it will be a wealth of information. I can't tell you how much it means to me to be able to connect with other Choice Moms! I can't tell from the details if Mikki will be there or not but regardless I am extremely excited to be going!

Where did this week go?

What a week! I don't even know where it went!

Tuesday I went for another U/S...I was 9 weeks 6 days & Baby was measuring 10 weeks 2 days so growing wonderfully...still has a strong heartbeat of 160 beats/minute. Shelly, the tech, showed me a clear shot of the spine & I had no trouble identifying the heart. The best part of the appointment was seeing Baby kick & wave & spin around...just moving up a storm!! It was precious! It was just so amazing to see Baby looking so much more human. Soon I'll be feeling those kicks & spins & that just blows me away!

I also met with my Midwife for the first time. Last week I visited my family Dr to discuss prenatal care. I was still on the fence whether to receive care from him & an OB or go with a Midwife. My Dr was great & really took the time to discuss the pros & cons of either choice. He himself is pro Midwife as when he was doing deliveries he worked very closely with them. He also assured me that if at any time I changed my mind he would resume care no problem. So I met with my Midwife on Tuesday after my U/S & what a great experience. She's very excited & passionate...I admit I went in a little defensive half expecting her to be too new age for me but was pleasantly surprised. And the amount of information offered up was great! Even as great as my Dr is, he didn't have a package of pamphlets for me or a library of books & videos I could borrow from. Since I am all about the info, this was a huge selling point for me!

The only issue of contention was that she is very pro home birth & that is definately NOT something I'm interested in. We really didn't have time to discuss this though since there was so much to cover but I'll nip that idea in the bud on my next visit. I think home birth is an interesting concept & works for some women...but for me? My vision of child birth happens in a hospital. The good thing is that she explained her stance of respect for choice so I don't think she'll push me on the issue.

This week I also told a few more people about Baby...I told one of my Aunts that lives out West & she didn't believe me at first but once I told her the whole story she was very happy for more & is excited that my Due Date is near her birthday. I told a couple of girls from work & they can't wait to start shopping for Baby! My Mom has been telling more of her friends too.

The support & acceptance from everyone is unbelievable! Not a single negative reaction. My Mom's one friend asked, "Does she know who the father is?" assuming I got knocked up the old fashioned way...I wish someone would ask me that! I'd love to look them straight in the face & say, "No" before going on to explain the circumstances.

Another rite of passage this week, I went & bought some maternity clothes...my clothes are already getting pretty sung & uncomfortable. However, since I'll be biggest through the winter I bought long pants & jeans & it's still to warm to wear them & didn't think it made sense to buy capris' that I'll only be able to wear for a few more weeks before the weather changes. Now I can't wait for fall!!! Although I am a Fall/Winter lover anyway so I always can't wait for fall!

Lastly, I'd like to close with a HUGE congratulations to Paige on her BFP...I couldn't be more happy for you, Paige!

And to all the rest of you ladies that are knee deep into your 2ww, here's hoping you all get your BFPs too!

This & That

It's been a fun week...I'm still floating on a cloud after my U/S...though it's hard not to be a "Nervous Nelly"...not surprisingly I've been having lots of twinges & discomfort in my lower abdomen & inevitably wonder, "Is this cramping?" It's always just gas or constipation...

After worrying about not having enough symptoms, it's like my baby said, "You want symptoms? You asked for it!!!" Aside from the unbelieveable exhaustion, I've been feeling the nausea...it's not what I thought it would feel like. Mostly it feels like I have the flu...but with constipation instead of diarrhea. As long as I have something in my stomach, I'm okay so I'm doing a lot of munching...

I am always hungry but I haven't had any cravings really...I have been experiencing some food aversions though...even that's not like I expected...I'll start to feel hungry & think, "Oh, I want some cookies!" But when I'm standing in the cookie aisle at the grocery store my stomach just turns over in protest...it's a weird feeling to want to eat certain foods but then feel like gagging when I actually try...

Even the exhaustion isn't anything I could have been prepared for...I am so tired beyond any kind of tired I have ever experienced! I use to be a party girl...I use to go out drinking 4 nights a week until 2 or 3 in the morning without missing any 8am classes or early work shifts & this was week after week! And I never remember feeling as tired as I do lately even after sleeping for more hours than I'm awake!!!

I find it all facinating! All the changes & feelings...it's just amazing!

We told my Brother's 2 sons about the baby on Saturday...M is 7 & H is 5 & their reactions were so fun! H is excited that he won't be the youngest anymore & kept telling me, "I can't wait for the baby to get here!" M was a bit more pensive about it & here's the conversation after he absorbed the info:

M: Daddy? Does this mean you'll be the Daddy?

Me & Bro: NO!

My brother went on to explain about different types of families, 1 Mommy, 1 Daddy, 2 Daddys, etc...after thinking about this for a moment he says to me:

M: I really think that's best. (meaning just me & the baby)

Me: Oh? why's that?

M: 'Cause that way, at dinner, you only have to make 2 dinners. When Mommy makes dinner, she has to make FOUR!

So precious! They are excited, to say the least & are both convinced it will be a boy & gave me some interesting name suggestions.

Here I am 9 weeks now...I saw my RE today & he is very pleased with my results from last week & said there was nothing to indicate any concerns & said he didn't think any further U/S were necessary...I asked him if he was SURE he didn't want to check...he smiled & asked if I would feel better if we did another U/S & I nodded emphatically so he booked me in for next week, just to put my mind at ease...although knowing he didn't think it necessary made me feel really good.