There is no way I will ever be able to express how much it meant to me to receive the outpouring of support, encouragement & advice after my last post. For two months, every tantrum & every time Elena hit me, every night she would fight sleep, each defiant behavior was magnified…I’d created this unattainable parental standard…it all had become so big in my head...I’d allowed myself to become so overwhelmed by it all…I had lost sight of any successes we’d had.
As soon as I hit Publish, I felt a weight lift from my chest…when I woke up that Wednesday morning to your comments, I cried…& cried & cried. I felt a renewed sense of confidence…I’d gained a new, more realistic perspective…knowing Elena’s behavior isn't abnormal…the realization that I was already employing a lot of your excellent advice…
It was also that Wednesday that I hear this song for the 1st time:
If you’re lost and alone
Or you’re sinking like a stone
May the your past be the sound
Of your feet upon the ground
Oh sure, I know it’s not about parenting & is a bit dark but the chorus just…uplifts me. By no means have all of our troubles been resolved…I still don’t feel like I deserve a World’s Best Mom mug quite yet…but we’re making headway…we have as many successes as we do setbacks but I am trying to measure myself by the success, not the setbacks & of course seeing them as setbacks instead of failures was a good first step.