When I posted Monday evening, I just knew I was on the verge of getting my period. I was experiencing pretty intense lower back pain which is always my 1st warning that I'm about to start. Then late Monday afternoon I noticed my 1st signs of spotting...period was inevitable, right? I stopped taking my progesterone suppositories...what was the point, I might as well save them, right?
Tuesday morning (CD28), I expected to wake up to full flow...what did I wake up to? Nothing! Even my lower back pain had subsided...throughout the day I kept expecting it to come back...I mean, I wanted a CD1 so I could start the process for try #3!! But all day, NOTHING!
When I woke up this morning, still nothing! I was sure it was just taking it's time but just to put my mind at ease, I decided to take a HPT...I had a cheap one, why waste a good one, right?).
I took the test & got a 2nd line almost immediately! My 1st thought? WTF!!! I looked & looked again...I couldn't believe it!! And of course I started doubting it. How could this be? I had no symptoms whatsoever...no tender breasts, no nausea, nothing! The test was a cheap one, it was probably a false positive...
I quickly got ready & high-tailed it to my clinic for a beta...blood tests don't lie & I was sure it would come up negative...or maybe this was just a chemical...I mentioned I'd had no symptoms, right?
My nurse called at about 11:30am today...the verdict? BFP!! My 1st thought? WTF!!! I have a 51.98 hCG!!! She warned that my progesterone was very low...well, ya! I'd stopped taking it!!! I immediately hauled my ass home & deposited my suppository!!!
I can't even believe this. I was so sure this was a no go. When it felt like my period was starting, I wasn't surprised. I'm in shock that I've actually got a BFP! I don't know if it's even sunk in...
Then there's no guarantee it'll stick...I go back Friday to may sure my hCG doubles...it may not. Even though 51.98 is higher than this point last time, it's still not off the charts high...this could indicate another blighted ovum...last time I knew it wasn't my fault that I miscarried. This time? How can I not blame myself? If I had just kept taking my progesterone...okay, that's it. My 5 seconds are up...I let the fear in & now I am going to remain calm & positive.