There
is no way I will ever be able to express how much it meant to me to receive the
outpouring of support, encouragement & advice after my last post. For two
months, every tantrum & every time Elena hit me, every night she would
fight sleep, each defiant behavior was magnified…I’d created this unattainable
parental standard…it all had become so big in my head...I’d allowed myself to
become so overwhelmed by it all…I had lost sight of any successes we’d had.
As
soon as I hit Publish, I felt a weight lift from my chest…when I woke up that
Wednesday morning to your comments, I cried…& cried & cried. I felt a
renewed sense of confidence…I’d gained a new, more realistic perspective…knowing Elena’s behavior isn't abnormal…the realization that I was
already employing a lot of your excellent advice…
It
was also that Wednesday that I hear this song for the 1st time:
If you’re lost and alone
Or you’re sinking like a stone
Carry on
May the your past be the sound
Of your feet upon the ground
Carry on
Oh
sure, I know it’s not about parenting & is a bit dark but the chorus just…uplifts
me. By no means have all of our troubles been resolved…I still don’t feel like
I deserve a World’s Best Mom mug quite yet…but we’re making headway…we have as
many successes as we do setbacks but I am trying to measure myself by the
success, not the setbacks & of course seeing them as setbacks instead of
failures was a good first step.
Sometimes that's just it -- you don't need the problem solved, you just need a different way of looking at it, attacking it, feeling about it. Sometimes the emotions we feel about the problem is even worse (and wears us down) more than the problem itself. Glad that you've come to a better place.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you're feeling better. There are too many moms out there who brag about their children but don't let you see the big picture. Elena will turn out just fine.
ReplyDeleteSo glad to hear you're doing better, and that your followers were able to help. Keep up the great work - and it IS great work! I like "setback" instead of "failure" - and plan to try to think that way myself!
ReplyDeleteParenting a toddler is hard work! I'm glad you're feeling better about how things are going. Your post (and the responses) really helped me, too.
ReplyDeleteBeing a parent is by far the hardest thing I've ever done. It's tough because sometimes you just have to surrender to the fact that you're not in complete control. I can relate because I try to be the "perfect parent" but there's no such thing. We have to cut ourselves some slack. You do the best you can. You love them. That's the most important thing. No one is perfect.
ReplyDelete