Why is it that, when your toddler
reaches a certain age, everyone feels the need to inquire about if you’re
toilet training said toddler yet? I mean, seriously! Can’t we all just leave
each other alone & let the parent(s) parent their child(ren)?
Okay, rant over…sorry about that…but
I’ve been tired of being questioned about Elena’s toilet habits for the last
10+ months…
From the time Elena was born, my
Mom would brag that, before I was born, she’d toilet trained my cousin before
she was two & that she had me trained by when I was two…I said, “Great!
Then you can train Elena!!” More seriously, when my Mom would question about
when I planned to train Elena, I told her I was on board for whatever she had
in mind, just lead the way. I’m not sure if it’s just that she was afraid to
put her money where her mouth was or whether she felt it was my responsibility,
but she didn’t make any move towards any training…well, aside from encouraging
Elena to try from time to time but nothing consistent. I’m okay with that…it
really is my responsibility. I was just tired of hearing the questioning.
I thought about training Elena at
the beginning of the summer, but I realized that I didn’t want to spend our
summer searching for toilets everywhere we went. I thought about training her
Thanksgiving weekend in October when I’d be home for the long weekend…I can’t
remember why I didn’t end up doing it then…Then I didn’t want to do it before
we went away on our vacation…to be honest, all that time, I just wasn’t ready.
That’s right, I
wasn’t ready! I didn’t want to be searching for toilets, I didn’t want to give
up the convenience of diapers…but more than anything, I didn’t
want my baby to take another step towards independence, to not need me for yet another thing.
By the time we got back from
vacation, though, I knew she was ready. Elena would often tell me when she’d
gone…she would go for long stretches of dryness…then, while shelling out yet
another $50 for a box of diapers, I’d had enough! I had better things to spend
$50 on! I said to Elena, “This is it, okay? This is the last box I am buying! When
I’m home over Christmas, you’re going to start peeing on the toilet! No more diapers!”
She looked me straight in the eye & replied, “Okay, Momma!” So that was it…we
talked about it a lot in the 2-3 weeks leading up to our “go dry” date.
We officially started Monday, December
23rd…it was rough at 1st…I’d done a lot of reading up on
training, because that’s what I do…I tried leaving her bare bum, didn’t make
any difference…we’re now using the quilted underpants & we like them.
The 1st few days we
did have success but many accidents too. She picked right up on pooping in the
toilet. We’ve had just one Number 2 accident which resulted in one of her Dora
dolls going into the garbage. I was NOT about to wash poop out of poor Dora’s
hair!!
The peeing accidents became more
frequent & I was getting frustrated!! My friend said I just needed to set
an alarm! So I did & I asked Elena every
twenty minutes if she had to go & she always said no & then she’d
pee on the floor!! I called my friend back & said her method wasn’t working
at all!! First she laughed at me…then she clarified that the alarm was for
ME! To remind ME to take Elena to the toilet!!
I also tried a reward system. We
started with a Dora Map & Sticker set where she would get a sticker to
place on the map every time she had a success…this worked at first but she lost
interest. I tried M&Ms as a reward but they only work some of the time…seems
Elena isn’t really motivated by rewards. She does love my crazy happy dances
& she loves hearing me brag to everyone about her successes. What seems to
make the most impact on her is me telling her how proud I am of her…which makes
my heart burst with love for her little personality!!
I was very intimidated about
going out…I took a waterproof bed mats, folded it & put it on the car seat…I
didn’t want the seat ruined!! I also decided that I didn’t care what anyone thought
& I would bring our toilet seat with us. The trainer seat, I mean, that
fits on top of the toilet. This was genius! Elena was more than willing to sit
on any toilet since she could sit on it safely.
Slowly we had more & more
success!! We’ve come a long way &
are now having more successes than accidents. She tells me when she needs to go…most
of the time, anyway. Since her speech is delayed (a whole other post, coming
soon) we are also using the signs for poop, pee & toilet & that helps a
lot with her letting me know she needs to go…& I need to remember to take
her to the toilet & get her to try if she hasn’t gone in a while.
Over all, it’s been a pretty good
experience…I can’t really articulate why, but it feels like this was a bonding
experience for Elena & I…it feels like we’re closer. If I can offer one
piece of advice, it’s similar to the advice I offer on all things parenting…don’t
let anyone pressure you to train your kid before you are sure your kid (&
you!) are ready & do it your way, whatever way works for you & your
kid.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta
pee!!
