Go, Canada, Go

Okay, as I sit here cheering on Team Canada against Russia I figure I'll fill in some more of my background details...

I met with my RE for the 1st time just 1 week prior to my upcoming cycle which was perfect timing since I'd be able to start my investigative cycle right away. I was so pleased with how supportive everyone at the clinic is...I feared they would be judgemental or discouraging as the nurse at my Family Dr's office who I dealt with to get my referral (who is usually very friendly & pleasant), was not impressed...she was all sunshine & helpfulness, then asked, "Do you have concerns about your fertility?" to which I replied that I had decided to persue IUI, etc...her response? "Uh huh, hm, right." Cold...an air of judgement...I realize now that that attitude is something I will constantly encounter & have learned fantastic coping strategies from the blogs I've been reading for handling it...but at the time? I felt like I'd been kicked in the gut.

I decided I wouldn't let it get me down & while waiting for AF, I got to enjoy filling a precription for Prenatal Vitamins...enjoy, you ask? Yeah, I kinda felt, I don't know, special or like I'd been inducted to the Mother-to-Be club...just a few months ago I had been thinking I would have to accept the fact that I wouldn't be a mother since I hadn't been able to find a man I was willing to spend the rest of my life with...so buying those vitamins was symbolic for me, it made it all real...I was going to be a mother!

So funny story about my 1st day on the prenatals...remember, I have said I was woefully uneducated about this whole process (and still have so much to learn)...so the next morning, I take my morning PV, then my Vitamin D (which my very wise aunt had me start & has made such a difference, thanks Lee) & lastly my multi-vitamin...ya, I know...so on my 40 minute drive to work, I started to feel very woozy. By the time I got to work, I felt even worse...I drank some water, ate an apple...peed & peed & by mid afternoon I felt better as well as discovered my problem...yup, that's right, mild vitamin OD. Needless to say I've stopped taking the multi-vitamin!

Okay...anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah, the following Friday, AF arrived marking CD1 (Cycle Day 1) 1st thing that morning I called the clinic to book my Day 3-5 U/S(ultrasound) for the following Tuesday, which would be CD5 but they said that'd be ok. I also asked about booking my HSG test but they didn't have any availability due to the new Family Day holiday...ironic, somehow, don't you think!

CD5 - full bladder U/S!!! Glad that's only necessary once this month! I am told I have an above normal amount of follicles, 8 in the right ovary, 10 in the left, 0.1cm in size...size was normal but have so many may impede any of them from growing or they all grow...good news too, they have opened up extra slots for HSG test due to the holiday so I booked for my CD12 U/S & HSG the following Tuesday.

CD6 - The nurse calls me at work & leaves a message that they found something in my tests & need me to call with my pharmacy info so I can fill a prescription for a 2 week round of Doxycycline...WHAT? I call back in a panic...it's okay, nothing too serious, it's to treat some minor bacteria infection that exists in many people, male & female & generally wouldn't be a concern but it has been know to cause miscarriage & we DEFINATELY don't want that...phew!

CD12 - 2nd U/S...still many follicles but small for this stage, 1.3cm in the right, 1.0 in the left...I'm told they need to be 1.9 minimum for IUI but 2.2 - 2.3 is best...So I head from there to the hospital for my HSG...I'm a bit bummed for my follicle size but the nurse assured me not to worry, she books for another U/S on Thursday & says, "Think good growing follicle thoughts". Plus my spirits are lifted when my RE advises @ the HSG that my tubes are clear & very normal...now I have never been known to be "normal" but I sure am glad my tubes are!!

CD14 - 3rd U/S...the positive follicle thoughts I & my Inner Circle had been sending out paid off as my little guys had grown to 1.8 which was excellent growth for 2 days! Plus I start feeling the symptoms of ovulation...I think...

CD18 - 4th & last U/S for this, my investigative cycle...my feelings were confirmed, I started to serge on Thursday & they think I probably ovulated on Saturday which matches what I was feeling...I was concerned that my follicle was too small & that maybe we should start right off on fertility drugs instead of trying my 1st IUI au natural. The Nurse said that's something my RE & I would decide but she felt that with such great growth between CD12 & CD14 it had probably kept growing right up until ovulation...

So here we are, CD20...I have an appontment with my RE next Wednesday to decide on the plan...right now I am all about picking a donor!!

Do you think Crosby's swimmers are available? 7-3 at the end of the 2nd GO, CANADA, GO!!!

My 1st Blogging Post

Okay, so after that oh so original title...here I go...

Lets get the background details out of the way 1st...I've been thinking about motherhood for a long time. At 35 years old, I figured my chance had passed me by & this was an unbelievable regret. Then, in October, 2 different people both of whom I admire and value their opinions, asked, "Why don't you do it on your own?" Huh.

All my knowledge about artificially getting pregnant cames from US TV so I thought it cost 10s of thousands of dollars & as a Admin Assistant, I just don't have that kind of money to spend then have a baby to support afterward...but I started doing some internet investigation...it turned out, here in Ontario, all of the tests (U/S, BT, HSG, etc) are covered by OHIP so essentially I would have to finance the purchase of sperm & the IUI procedure itself...about $1,000 per shot (pun intended, sorry :)) Well I could afford that, I could afford that a couple of times...between savings & my yearly bonus, I could actually afford this a bunch of times...then it dawned on me that I was seriously thinking about doing this!

I realized quickly that though this was my decision, I had to get my families support. Especially since I had bought a house with my Mom 2 years ago & bringing a baby into our home would definately impact her.

I was overwhelmed by her encouragement & support...she was all for it & so proud of me that she'd raised a daughter that would not just dream big but go out & actualize those dreams! After that it was easy to tell the rest of my support group who I've affectionately dubbed "My Inner Circle"...made up of my Mom, 2 aunts, my brother & sis-in-law plus my 2 closest friends...all overwhelmingly & amazingly supportive & encouraging...


So I choose a clinic, got my referral from my family Dr & met with the RE for the 1st time on Jan 27th...it was explained that I would go through an investigative cycle, have a bunch of tests & potentially try my 1st IUI au natural as early as March. I was very excited but also became woefully aware how little I knew about the process.

So back to the internet I went...but everything was geared to couples & even with my amazing Inner Circle, I was feeling so alone...after internet search after internet search & came upon a couple of websites geared to choice moms which then opened up for me the wonderful world of blogs...and the realization that I wasn't alone!! Not only wasn't I alone, but there are thousands of women who are making & have made the same choice I did, who've been through it all & I've learned so much!

So...here I am. The blogs I read were so inspiring & informative that I decided I would give a bash at it...at the very least, it's somewhere for me to express myself...and who knows, maybe I'll inspire someone like me...