Moments...

First, I want to clarify last week’s title…when I said it was boring, I meant boring for y’all, not for me…every moment I have with Elena is precious & a dream come true…yes, even the screaming crying & poopy diaper moments. So I really appreciate that you don't think it's boring either.

Elena is still sleeping like a super star going for at least a 7-8 hour stretch each night or like last night where she slept from 12:30 straight thru to 9:30 this morning! Then she fell asleep while feeding & slept until 11:30am!! She’s actually been sleeping a lot these last few days so I think she’s in a growth spurt…even though she’s breast feeding like a champ, I’m worried I’m not producing enough…I haven’t supplemented yet but I’m thinking about it. I just don’t know what to do. During the day she feeds every 2 hours still…she’s not starving by any means; you should see how big this kid is, lol!! I’m just worried that Elena needs more.

Elena is still trying so hard to giggle but hasn’t quiet got it yet but she’s so close! She smiles like crazy & is such a flirt!! And her babbling! OMG her babbling is hilarious! She’s so serious sometimes like whatever she’s saying is of the utmost importance…she also will “sing along” with me! The kicker though is that as soon as I flip the camera on to record her, she clams right up & just stares deadpan into the camera! This makes me laugh but also frustrates me to no end!

She’s rolled over from tummy to back 4 times now…ya, you read that right….she’s not a genius or anything though…all 4 times she did it by accident & surprised herself by doing it…the look on her face was priceless! When she actually tries to do it, she gets her arm in the way & then gets so frustrated that she can’t roll over. When she’s on her back she doesn’t even try to roll over…but she loves when I pull her up into a sitting position.

What’s weird is that now that Elena is sleeping so well, I find I have so little time to read blogs & am woefully behind & apologize for that and for not commenting as often as I want to. During the day, Elena is awake a lot of the time so I am keeping her entertained & she’s entertaining me. She only takes quick naps so when she does I run around like crazy getting something to eat, throwing in a load of laundry, washing a few dishes, putting clothes away…I’ve got into the habit of using my iTouch & the Google Reader app to read posts while I’m breast feeding but that makes commenting difficult. Basically, the reason I’m explaining all this is because I want to thank everyone who reads, whether you comment or not, I really appreciate it…I also want to thank all of you bloggers for writing & sharing.

I have been so overwhelmed lately with how complete my life feels now…I had felt for years that I was floating through life without any real purpose or direction…I had put everything I had into my career hoping to feel fulfilled but never did…I invested huge amounts of effort & energy into a couple of long term relationships only to realize I was more invested than he was…I explored religious & spiritual avenues for purpose…none of these things filled that place inside me that felt so empty. Now, finally, I feel complete. I feel that my life has purpose & direction. I am overwhelmed by how grateful I am for this life that has been entrusted to me. Love is too small a word…watching Elena discover the world & having the opportunity to lead her along fills me with a degree of joy I never felt possible.