Sunday, March 11, 2012

What Should I Write About...

…Elena’s 1st Birthday Party…or my 1st 2 days back at work…

I think I’ll cover going back to work & wait on the party details for when I get the photos from our photographer…

I went back to work this past Thursday…absolutely great advice by the way! If you can, definitely go back to work mid week! I know this coming 1st full week is going to kill me but at least I have these two days back under my belt.

Leading up to Thursday, understandably I was a swirl of emotion…I would feel fine, then sad, then excited, then terrified, then confused…all in a span of about 3 seconds. I kept trying to play tough & say I was fine…I think I was actually convincing myself! I also allowed myself to get caught up in the details of what needed to get done before I went back that I was able to ignore the apprehensive feelings.

I do have to note that I think I have it far easier than most moms, single or otherwise…so I’m going to try not to sound too complain-y. What I mean is I don’t have the stress & worry of leaving Elena with strangers at a daycare, I don’t have the concerns of if Elena is adjusting ok, if she’s getting enough attention. Since my Mom is looking after her, I can avoid all of that turmoil…hell, since my Mom lives with me, I don’t even have to worry about getting Elena up & ready…she’s still sleeping when I leave! I am eternally grateful for the situation I’m in & will never take for granted how fortunate I am for it.

Because of all that, I was ill prepared for how hard it was to be away from Elena! I was a lot more emotional than I thought I would be. What made it harder was everyone asking me how she was & wanting details of what was new. On top of that my computer station wasn’t set up yet so I couldn’t even bury myself in work! Leave it to our IT department! They’ve only known for the last SIX MONTHS that I was coming back that day but they waited until Wednesday to set me up!! While I was off, my office was moved twice & I have now settled into a cubicle so the wait did afford me the time to organize & unpack but my mind was drifting to Elena.

It didn’t help matters that Elena has been sick. She spiked a fever Sunday night, higher than she’s ever had at 100.5…luckily we already had a doctor’s appointment for Monday morning for her 1 year well baby check up. She obviously wasn’t able to get her needles & it turned out she had croup…her fever didn’t break until Wednesday & then Thursday she started coughing up blood!! Commence freak out for me!!! My Mom took her back to the doctor Friday & thankfully the blood was from an irritation in the esophagus from her coughing…thru all of that I am feeling even more fortunate that she was with my Mom & not at daycare.

Now I am gearing up for a full 5 day work week…we have had a nice weekend together. Saturday morning we ran some necessary errands then have spent the rest of the time just hanging out & me getting some house chores done. Elena is feeling much better…she is, however, extremely clingy. Can’t blame the girl but I can’t even stand up without her acting a bit panicked that I might be leaving & she insists of being carried everywhere. I’m walking the fine line of providing her reassurance without overindulging her.

And that’s life with us! Birthday post to follow soon but let me just say, we had a blast!!


  1. You'll find soon that you'll settle into your work routine and it will feel okay. I'm lucky, as a teacher, b/c I can talk about Scarlett all day to my captive audience of 8 year olds. They never get bored with hearing stories about her. But I don't think my colleagues would be as attentive :)

    I can't wait to see the photos from the birthday and hear about your celebration!

  2. The first few days back to work are the worst, and then it slowly gets easier. I'm very happy for you and Elena that your mom is able to care for her while you're at work. That's wonderful they have that special time with each other--- I'm sure they will both cherish it forever.

    Can't wait to see pictures from the party!!! (and I still can't believe she's already one.... I feel like it was just yesterday you were announcing you were pregnant!

  3. Good luck and thanks for the batch of comments!

  4. Congrats on your baby's 1st birthday! It must be hard to go back to work even under the best of circumstances. Hopefully it'll get better as time passes!

  5. I was amazed, too, at how hard it was to leave when I first went back to work. I never knew I could miss someone that much. I still miss him just as much, but I guess I've gotten used to it, because it's much easier.

    While I'm really jealous of how long you got to stay home with Elena, I have to say that the first few days for me were probably easier, since he didn't really even notice that I was gone. He definitely notices now!

  6. I try not to complain either (and probably fail) since my family watches J while I work. It' a blessing having family live in and help, it gives a little peace of mind but its still way hard to leave every time. I hope your first full week goes easy on you or at least that you actually get to bury yourself in some work!

  7. "I’m walking the fine line of providing her reassurance without overindulging her." A good way to sum up motherhood on the whole--don't you think?

    Best wishes for your continued transition!


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