My Future Olympian?

Dreaming of a future gold medal?

The Zoo, Booked & a Scare

Elena & I joined my good friend & her family for Elena's 1st trip to The Toronto Zoo...We had a blast...

Elena's Ride

Elena had no fear sticking her hands in to pet the stingrays & sharks!

We just loved watching this guy swim!

Then Elena fell asleep...

...we saw the lions...

...and the penguins...

...and she slept...

She did wake up in time to hear the tiger roar!



It was such a great day!!! I can't wait until next year when the Pandas are there!!

In other news, today I booked Elena & I for our 1st trip! We're going to Huatulco, Mexico in November!!! I am very excited to spend a week on the beach with Elena...but I am just a little intimidated by the 5 hour flight, airport transfers, etc...so all you SMC travellers, I'll be seeking your best advice!!

Lastly, we had a scare tonight...my stomach is in knots just thinking about it again...Elena choked on a cracker...usually a good whack on the back does the trick but this time, even after several good whacks, it didn't work! The look on Elena's face is seared in my brain & the way she was grasping at her throat...it was awful & I was on the verge of panic...I flipped her over with her head down & gave her another good what on the back & thankfully it was followed by a hearty wail from Elena & the cracker chunk on the floor...then I fell apart...Elena & I had a good cry...she's fine but if we never have to go thru that again it'll be too soon!

That's what's going on with us...



The Good Times...

I'd like to post that our little (read ginormous) hitting issue resolved...but of course somthing like that isn't solved so easily or quickly...however, I do feel better equipped to handle the instances thanks to the advice & support I received on my last post. I'm not sure I can express exactly how much your comments & support means to me. Aside from the excellent techniques posted...that are really making a difference...it was knowing that this wasn't an Elena & me issue as a result of my bad parenting but rather a phase so many go thru...and like all phases, this too shall pass...to be replaced by another, probably equally difficult, phase...sigh...

In the mean time, we really do have more good times than bad...and today is a good example. We spent the day with my Mom & Aunt taking in the beautiful sun & swimming in my aunt's pool...it was just a really great day...

And my little water baby!! Elena is really coming along with her swimming & we bought a really great floaty while in the US & she's just loving it...as you can see:



Discipline

You know how when life is as perfect as it gets yet there’s that 1 small dark spot & that dark spot seems like a black chasm? That’s how this motherhood gig is for me right now.

I need to know how I’m supposed to discipline a 16 month old…Elena hits me…smacks me in the face…she does this when she’s angry, frustrated, doesn’t like what I’m saying…sometimes she does it just to test me, to see what I’ll do…seriously.

How the hell am I supposed to discipline her to teach her this behavior is inappropriate? Don’t tell me to smack her back because I believe that’s counter-intuitive to teaching her not to smack. Don’t tell me to put her in a time out because seriously, how do you have a 16 month old learn a meaningful lesson from a time out? Aside from what I’m doing…sternly telling her it’s not okay & walking away (which isn’t working, BTW)…I’m at a loss.

I need something because I am on the verge of losing it…seriously. When she hits me it takes every ounce of self control to not overreact…it makes me angry…ANGRY angry…see RED kind of angry…scare myself kind of angry…

Then I am thrown to the depths of self-loathing…I feel like an epic failure…for getting so. Very. Angry…I must be doing something colossally wrong if this is how Elena is expressing herself. What am I doing so wrong that Elena is reacting in such a violent way? I know I’m not a bad mother…I do the very best I can. I just question if my best is good enough.

As if I wasn’t feeling awful enough, once the dust has settled after our most recent episode & I’m sitting in our rocker quietly sobbing at my ineptitude as a parent, Elena reaches up, wraps her little arms around my neck & strokes my hair in such a gentle, compassionate way & I have renewed hope that maybe…just maybe…she won’t grow up to be a social delinquent…

Sweet 16

Elena is 16 months old today...

...& she's just itching for her Driver's Licence

Happy 4th of July to all my American Bloggy-Friends!





Happy Canada Day!!!