My Brother is throwing me a Sex Party!!!

Those are words I never thought I would say!!! True though...my nephew called me the other night, he had some stuff he needed to ask me, he is 7 & so adorable! Anyway, when we were finished talking he said Daddy wanted to ask me something...Turns out that my brother is extremely anxious to find out the gender of my Precious One! His enthusiasm brings tears to my eyes! For him to be this excited really means a lot to me...anyway, he knew I was finding out Baby's gender on Oct 12th & didn't want to wait until the following Sunday (the 1st potentially possible time for my family to get together) so he's decided to have everyone over to their place on Tuesday so we can have a big reveal! Luckily everyone in my family is available although his stance on that was if they couldn't come TFB!!

That means I am back to Plan A about finding out...my friend (who will also be in the delivery room with me) is coming to my appointment & my tech will divulge the juicy details to her & they will seal it in an envelope for me to take to the party & I will find out right along with my family!! I'm very excited!

I needed that excitement right now...my mind has been such a jumble lately. I have tried composing posts but haven't been able to organize my thoughts...but I will try.

I am 18 weeks today! I can't believe it! It was exactly 10 weeks ago today that I saw my Precious Baby & watched the heart beat away for the 1st time...only 10 weeks ago! It feels like a life time!

I have moments where fear absolutely grips me. What if something has gone wrong? I don't let myself dwell there long though since there is no rational or logical reason to warrant such worry.

Logically & rationally I remind myself that I'm experiencing (sometimes pretty intensely) round ligament pain & that wouldn't happen if Baby & uterus weren't growing...for the most part I'm keeping it together & not totally freaking out with worry or fear.

The thing is, from the beginning, none of this has seemed real...I've felt like I'm going through the motions & experiencing it all but am waiting to wake up & realize it's all been a dream...it's all very surreal to me & I have moments where I think, "Whoa, wait...I'm Pregnant? Really?"

A few weekends ago, I visited my friend for the weekend as she is moving & has all kinds of kids stuff to pass down to me.  The one thing she is lending me is very special...Her grandfather made, with his own 2 hands, a wooden cradle...a true family heirloom...and she has allowed me to borrow it for my Baby...I am so touched & honoured. She has been like a sister to me, I was her maid or honour...& now to have this honour...

And this cradle...wow! I mean it is BEAUTIFUL! It is a big wooden one...I mentioned my love of Little House on the Prairie...well this cradle looks exactly like the cradle Charles made in one episode...I think the one where they had their son but who died & Laura blamed herself...anyway, I'm sure you can picture this cradle, it's amazing.

My Mom helped me get it inside & since I wasn't prepared to move it into my bedroom just yet, I put it in my living room, out of the way. Well later that day I was drawn to it & walked over & stood over it & it all hit me like a bucket of ice water...I'm. Having. A. Baby. This cradle is going to hold my Precious One during their 1st months of life. For the 1st time it really felt real! The mixture of feelings...joy, awe, relief, fear, joy...I was so grateful to really be feeling something, and so strongly!

Now I have less than a week to wait before I see my Baby again & hear that precious heartbeat...I can make it, I know I can :)