UGH!!! Okay, so for the last couple weeks, my Mom & I have been planning for Elena to go with her to her church Wednesday mornings so that I can have some Me Time & Elena can start getting use to being away from me. We had decided that today would be the 1st day since I have a Dr appointment. I have been looking forward to this since we came up with the idea...the Me Time, not the Dr appointment.
Now, here I am, all alone in my house...I don't like it. I've been crying since they left. Chances are, they'll be home before I even leave for my appointment but I just feel empty. How the hell am I going to go back to work?
To be honest, I'd been trying to back out of letting her go since last night. My Mom, being the wise women she is, gently insisted she take Elena & reassuringly told me Elena would be just fine...which I know she will be but I can't help but wonder how she is...what is she thinking? Is she wondering where I am? Is she feeling lost without me like I am without her? Rationally I know it's better for her to have some time away from me as much as it benefits me to be away from her...but UGH!!!
Spending time away from your baby is hard (and it's still hard when they are preschoolers, to tell the truth). BUT, it's easier when you are at work because you are focused on the tasks in front of you. Unstructured (or semi-structured time is harder because you have time to think about what you are missing.) Just my two cents from experience. What you are going through is perfectly NORMAL! Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteIt never gets easier. I leave J every night for less than four hours at a time. I always wonder how he's doing, what he's doing, sometimes want to shed a few tears and always want to run back to him ASAP. My mother asked me if I missed when I/he is gone then said the same thing: it never gets easier for us mamas but for the babies, they miss us but love the away time too. She's a doll!
ReplyDeleteHang in there!! I agree it is easier when you are at work because of the distraction of work. And Elena is with your mom who loves her as much as you do. Next time have an activity planned like getting a haircut or something indulgent for yourself.
ReplyDeleteToday I was totally feeling that same feeling. I have been leaving Scarlett with my parents since she was born. I go to appointments, to tutoring clients, out with friends, to the gym, and other things. But it's always for a short period of time. Today I felt like Scarlett was with my parents the entire day and I really missed her. And actually, she wasn't. I was really with her most of the day, but b/c I was away from her several times today it felt much longer. Ugh, work is slowly approaching. I feel for you.
ReplyDeleteIt's crazy, how much we can miss our babies! I never thought I'd feel it as strongly as I do, either. But having time for yourself is actually a good thing - really! :)
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