Thank you for all of your support & encouragement on my last post. I apologize for coming across as a whiney bitch…at least when I reread it, I sounded like a whiney bitch to me. I can’t say enough how grateful I am to have Elena & how perfect our life is, just the two of us.
The thing is, this week I have been really sad & emotional thinking about it…I’m talking over emotional. The emotions I was feeling were disproportionate to how, in my head, I knew I should be feeling.
On top of this, my Mom was driving me nuts. She wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary or unusual, but everything she did was sending me over the edge. I couldn’t understand why she was doing “this” to me, why was she hurting me so much? Why did she hate me so much? Completely disproportionate with what was really happening.
I couldn’t understand it…I was a mess! The emotions I was feeling just didn’t make sense to me. On top of this, I hadn’t been able to sleep. I was having aches & pains in my joints. My head was aching, not full on headaches, just a dull pain. And at night it felt like my body was buzzing, I was feeling very edgy & anxious on top of everything.
Saturday morning, while Elena was still sleeping, I was catching up on some blog reading & Shannon had posted about pumping/weaning…I started bawling. It was an aha moment…Of course!! This has to be what has been wrong with me!
You see, as of Wednesday April 25th, Elena was completely weaned. This explains my completely irrational state lately!! My hormones were running amok! It also occurred to me that I felt similarly back in December, just before my periods started again…and I also felt this way when I was 1st pregnant…DAMN HORMONES!!!
So, although I still feel pretty anxious & edgy, at least I know WHY!!