Thank
you for all of your support & encouragement on my last post. I apologize
for coming across as a whiney bitch…at least when I reread it, I sounded like a
whiney bitch to me. I can’t say enough how grateful I am to have Elena &
how perfect our life is, just the two of us.
The
thing is, this week I have been really sad & emotional thinking about it…I’m
talking over emotional. The emotions I was feeling were disproportionate to
how, in my head, I knew I should be feeling.
On
top of this, my Mom was driving me nuts. She wasn't doing anything out of the
ordinary or unusual, but everything she did was sending me over the edge. I
couldn’t understand why she was doing “this” to me, why was she hurting me so
much? Why did she hate me so much? Completely disproportionate with what was
really happening.
I
couldn’t understand it…I was a mess! The emotions I was feeling just didn’t
make sense to me. On top of this, I hadn’t been able to sleep. I was having aches
& pains in my joints. My head was aching, not full on headaches, just a
dull pain. And at night it felt like my body was buzzing, I was feeling very
edgy & anxious on top of everything.
Saturday
morning, while Elena was still sleeping, I was catching up on some blog reading
& Shannon had posted about pumping/weaning…I started bawling. It was an aha
moment…Of course!! This has to be what has been wrong with me!
You
see, as of Wednesday April 25th, Elena was completely weaned. This
explains my completely irrational state lately!! My hormones were running amok!
It also occurred to me that I felt similarly back in December, just before my
periods started again…and I also felt this way when I was 1st
pregnant…DAMN HORMONES!!!
So,
although I still feel pretty anxious & edgy, at least I know WHY!!
Okay, so can you help me with why I feel anxious and edgy constantly? LOL. Glad you figured it out. Here's hoping it all comes back together again soon :)
ReplyDeleteCrazy hormones! I'm glad my post helped you figure it out!
ReplyDeleteOut of curiosity - did Elena wean herself, or did you wean her?
I weaned Elena, slowly cutting out feeds until we were down to just nursing before bed. Then I didn't want to stop but knew she was ready. I'm meaning to post about it but all this hormone/emotional crap has got in the way ;)
DeleteGlad you now know why!
ReplyDeleteDamn hormones!! :) I find they are even worse now after having experienced a pregnancy.
ReplyDeleteThough since I am slow in reading blogs and I just read the previous one... It was NOT whiny at all!! It is a total valid thought process that I think everyone (married and single) goes through.
Hormones wreak havoc for sure! And the problem is when you're feeling down, inexplicably, the negative thoughts start and they're very convincing! Soon you're in a deeper funk than Rick James! It's hard to be grateful for all the blessings in your life because you focus on the lack (let's face it. We all have something missing from our lives. My $50 million cheque from the lottery is still M.I.A! LOL) Hang in there! I'm worried about the possibility of post-partum depression and the rollercoaster of emotions that are ahead of me. Hormones have always affected me. We have to remember how blessed we are and not give those toxic thoughts/feelings space to breathe. Just try to shrug it off as a dip in hormones due to your body's changes and counteract it with something to make you happy. (Like an Oreo McFlurry with hot fudge now 'n then!)
ReplyDeleteBut then what do I know? "I am slowly going crazy 1-2-3-4-5-6 switch!" :)
Smile, beautiful! Life is good.
xo
Ann Marie
Glad you figured it out. Its amazing what hormones can do to our mood.
ReplyDelete