It’s surreal to me that this is
my 4th In Review post. Looking back at 2013, I feel as though I’ve
come so far this year. In 2012 I felt I’d gained my confidence yet, in the end,
I didn’t have the confidence to be honest about how things were at the end of
last year.
This year, I promise to be honest…Life
with Elena has been extremely fun…& extremely frustrating!! What is it with
Elena & this time of year? It’s not lost on me that Elena started acting
crazy about the same time last year as she has this year. Is it some weird Seasonal
Affective Disorder…who knows but the girl is certainly expressing her independence
& opinions! I’m pretty good dealing with her…but man, it drives me crazy
when she doesn’t listen to me! Elena is beyond her years in developing the
talent of selective hearing that usually doesn’t appear until adolescence! For
the most part though, if I can keep my patience in check, we get by just fine.
One of the biggest issues we had
last year was her sleep & how she would fight bedtime. As I learned, sleep
with a toddler is always evolving. We went a good long time with easy, peaceful
bedtimes…then just in the last month or so, she starts all these games &
silliness at bedtime…until finally, one night I’d had enough, I didn’t want to
yell & scream & fight with her but I wasn’t going to stay while she
futzed around…so I told her enough, to stay in bed & go to sleep & I
walked out…I went back in a few minutes later, feeling guilty for leaving her
& she was fast asleep. This happened a couple more times before it dawned
on me, she fights bedtime because bedtime means our time together is over &
more often than not, I won’t be there when she wakes up. She is so tired &
needs her sleep but doesn’t want to give in…but if I say good night &
leave, she’s asleep in minutes!!
Behaviour is still a big issue…we’ve
started making good use of time outs…I’m not altogether convinced these make
any sort of impact on her…last year, I bought the book, No Cry Discipline
Solution by Elizabeth Pantley…but haven’t read it yet…I’m thinking I need to
make the time now!!
Through all of these things this
year, I have held onto the lessons & advice I got back at the beginning of
this year…accepting that I don’t have to be perfect…believing I am a good mom,
not just despite my mistakes but because of my mistakes. I’ve really
learned that my mistakes make me better…Like I said, I really feel like I’ve
come so far this year. More than that, I feel like I have come into my own. It’s
a really good thing because 2014 is going to be a difficult year. I know that
as any of the previous versions of myself, I would not be able to deal with
& get through what I will have to in 2014. But the person I am now, I am
ready to face it.
I feel like I could have written so much of this post myself...maybe it really does take a full couple of years as a mom to start to trust ourselves?
ReplyDeleteHoping that 2014 brings you some wonderful happy surprises, in addition to the challenges that lie ahead.
It is a great feeling when you realize just how strong you are. know you are facing some difficult times ahead, but hope that you will also find some wonderful moments in the coming year.
ReplyDeleteI think there is so much wisdom in just doing our best and being ok with our imperfections. If we don't expect our kids to be perfect we should not expect that of ourselves! It sounds like you are at a really good place in motherhood - but yes, it is hard and stressful a lot of the time! Happy New Year to you!
ReplyDeleteHappy new year!! Im glad to hear that you have gained some confidence over the last year, which is no easy task with a toddler. Im not sure if i missed something thats happening in 2014 or not, but good luck with whatever it is! :)
ReplyDeletePleased that you are feeling more confident as a mum this year. I am the same too - I think that's how its going to be every year, we will grow as mums as our children grow - it's both exciting and challenging. I am currently reading Laura Markham's book Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids which I really recommend regarding some of the issues you are talking about.
ReplyDeleteAll the best for 2014
I love this post--it's so honest, yet upbeat! I think you are spot on about Elena's bedtime behavior. My boys will do that occasionally (ok, often). I think it's because, like you, we have just a couple of hours together on weeknights. In their minds, having me yell at them is better than ending our interaction all together. I think it's something only a working mom of young children can understand--otherwise, it sounds counter intuitive.
ReplyDeleteTwo books I want to read this year are The Good Mother Myth and The Blessing of a Skinned Knee. I'll let you know if they are any good :)
Happy New Year!
I'm so glad you posted. You are finding what is working for you and Elena. I found with SR that after reading books about different topics, my way of dealing with things was still the right way for us. Will be thinking of you a lot as you enter 2014 and spend time with family.
ReplyDeleteNice honest post. You sound much stronger and ore confident and I agree that has to do with having more experience in being a Mom. Its definitely trail and error as we all find our way through this journey. Good luck as you face 2014 and Happy New Year!
ReplyDelete