Friday, April 9, 2010

5 weeks 1 day

I meant to write yesterday on exactly 5 weeks...but was too tired! That's the story of my life these days...if I'm not feeling completely exhausted, then I'm feeling pretty cruddy...but mostly both at once! In no way am I complaining though...I will suffer whatever I have to as long as my little Tadpole just sticks with me!

Some interesting symptoms I thought I'd share...some TMI to follow but bear with me...1st, I've noticed my skin's a lot dryer than usual...another thing I feel is bloated & gassy...I feel like I have a nervous stomach all the time...the one thing that's hard to deal with is the heartburn. I have acid reflux & usually take Prevacid as needed & that was usually once or twice a month...however, I couldn't find any conclusive information whether it was safe to take while pregnant (basically there hasn't been any testing either way) so I figured, better safe than sorry...but boy am I suffering! A lot of the time, I feel like my period is going to start...& my boobs are still tender & I swear have gotten bigger! Which is the last thing I need since I've always been large-busted to begin with!!

I talked to my boss the other day...I actually have 3 bosses but directly report to 1 of them...I really trust & respect her & didn't like hedging around the truth with her. She gives me a lot of freedom & I didn't want her to feel I was taking advantage...anyway, my reason for telling her, aside from the previous, was because I was afraid that if I do miscarry, it would be so much harder to come clean about it all at I told her & she was so awesome! I mean, I am grateful everyday that I have a job I love & bosses that are so great...but she was amazing! So excited & happy for me & proud that I would take matters into my own hands to become a mom...

Now for the scary part...I am constantly terrified that this has all been some kind of mistake, a mix up with blood tests...but then I take a HPT & it's still positive...but then I remember this story on the soap opera I watch about this girl who wanted a baby so badly that she convinced herself she was pregnant, they called it an hysterical then I think maybe that's what all these symptoms are, they're psychosomatic...but then I remind myself that I don't live in a soap then my mind takes me to worrying about if I can hang onto my little Tadpole...I am overcome sometimes with fear that I'll miscarry...I try really hard to remain zen, calm & positive...& every day that I don't see any signs of AF allows me to be just a little more hopeful...& I thought the 2ww was torture?!?! This week has seemed like a year...was it only Monday that I found out for sure?


  1. OH yeah, I remember that fear (of miscarriage)...I think we all go through it, but every week that goes by gets you that much closer to that relatively safer place, the second trimester! I had such an uneventful, smooth pregnancy, at age 40 no less--you'll do great! PS - I love your blog design!!

  2. How lovely your boss is so supportive!
    Hope the next few weeks will fly by quicker :-)

  3. Thanks for stopping by my blog. Congrats on your pregnancy. You're very lucky to have had success so quickly. Sending you and your tadpole sticky thoughts. I'll be checking up on YOU too!

    BTW I love the graphics on your blog.


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