Anticipation

I have journaled since I can remember...I have diaries & journals from as early as 3rd & 4th grade...it has always been a way for me to deal with whatever happened to be going on in my life...to get it out of my head so it wouldn't bottle up...yet today? I am at a loss to express how I'm feeling.

Excitement is too small a word...there doesn't seem to be words big enough or profound enough to describe the anticipation I feel for tomorrow. Tomorrow I get my 1st meeting with my little tadpole...I will hear her little heartbeat for the 1st time...I will see his tiny little developing body...I am overcome with emotion at this dream come true.

There was a time not long ago that I had resigned myself to the fact that I would never know the love of a child of my own. That realization broke my heart...the thought of never experiencing life grow inside me was unbearable. Now I am so overwhemingly grateful for the era I live in & the people who surround me that allows for this dream to come true.

We don't have to resign ourselves to societies traditions...we don't have to follow some predetermined order to things. Like every woman, I have doubts about if I'll be a good enough mother but there is no doubt in my mind that I will have more love for my Tadpole than I ever thought myself capable.

Tomorrow has seemed so far away & I couldn't wait for it to get here...now? I want to slow time down...to savour every emotion & relish in every thought that tomorrow will bring.