Very Hopeful

Wow! I feel 110% better...for a number of reasons...1st, I was back to work on Monday & even though I was still crampy & uncomfortable but it was so good to be back there...I love my job & love the people I work with...no one knows about my TTC plans there except my bosses & 1 coworker so it was good to just focus on work.

Then, today, I went to my clinic for a follow up H/S & blood work & to see my RE...so much information to share!! My U/S showed I had pretty much expelled everything so no need for a D&C...thank god!!

I am so grateful for having such a great RE...he just exudes confidence that when he explains things, I just know I can trust him. He explained that my miscarriage was basically just bad luck. My tadpole just wasn't right chromosomally (is that a word?) so it just didn't develop...there was nothing I could do differently.

He also looked over all of my results (except today's as they weren't available yet) & said they all look really good. He did identify that my ovaries over produce which can diminish my follicle quality. He explained he wasn't so concerned since I had 3 really good follicles with my last cycle but to decrease my chance of a 2nd miscarriage, he put me on Metformin which is a diabetic medication but has been known to aid & increase fertility.

A concern I had was regarding the "infection" they swabbed for that I took antibiotics for before my 1st IUI...I can't remember what the name of it is but it is known to cause miscarriage...just to be safe, we swabbed again today in case it hadn't cleared up.

When I asked if I should change donors he said absolutely not...he advised I should stick with him since we know he can get me pregnant. I have to admit, I'm afraid to check as I'm scared he won't still be available...

The really exciting news was that he advised we can try again on my very next cycle! No need to wait!! He explained that often the advice to wait is more for the emotional factor than any basis in biology & since the odds of conceiving on the next try are so good, why wait? I am so glad I don't have to wait!! And of course they'll monitor everything, if it's not optimal, we'll skip it & try the next one.

Once I got home, my nurse called as my RE was able to look at today's results & agreed I'd expelled everything & would probably start my next period within the next 2 weeks! Wow, I didn't expect so soon! I still show a positive hCG of 8 but that will decrease to nothing.

It goes without saying (but I'll say it anyway:) I am on cloud 9!! I can't even explain it! I don't want anyone to think I take this miscarriage lightly or don't feel an immense loss...those are feelings I deal with internally but I can't allow myself to dwell on my loss. I prefer to look forward to the blessings ahead of me rather than the grief behind me.

I want to close this post with my heartfelt gratitude to all of you for the encouraging comments & support, both from my family & friends as well as my new cyber-friends. You all will never know how grateful I am I didn't have to go through this alone. Thank you!