And so it begins...

Wow...so much going on...okay...start at the beginning-ish...

I had mentioned that when I called the donor clinic about ordering my swimmers, they were very wishy-washy. My RE said that the girl who answered the phone was probably new & didn't know what she was talking about...but it really made me think harder about my choices & I just wasn't confident with how things were looking on that front.

I thought I was sure that I wanted an anonymous donor but upon deeper reflection & the fact that my 3 top choices may or may not be available...and after conversation with the psychologist...I went back & started from scratch...looked at all the donor clinics again...really soul searched & realized that I couldn't take that choice away from my child, the choice of being able to look for their bio-father if they wanted to. I couldn't risk my child resenting me for my decision...if they never want to look at least they will know that I didn't take that choice away.

Also, as it turned out, my choices were better, more what I really wanted & this new clinic provided way more information for free right up front. It was then that I realized that I was so overwhelmed because I was trying to make such a huge decision & choice based on very limited information. How could I go with my gut when I didn't have enough info?

Well, today & submitted my choices to the clinic & lo & behold, my number one choice is available!!! Plenty available!!! Such relief...I have been in such turmoil over this & now feel like a weight has been lifted...& I feel really good about it...really good! And the woman I spoke to was so nice & kind & funny & encouraging...a much better experience than with the last.

Now, thank god I have today off work as I have to have my Open ID forms notorized in order for my swimmers to be released...I called a few offices from the yellow pages, no answer, no answer...then finally I reach someone & she was wonderful, no judgement, actual excitement! That felt good coming from a stranger!

I also had my CD5 ultrasound & blood work...full bladder!!! Those ones always get me! Anyway, everything looks good...10 follicles in the right ovary measuring about 1.0 & 8 follicles in the left one measuring 0.7...funny 'cause last month they were were the other way around...

I was also given my low dose of Clomid...so that rollercoaster is about to begin...I'm a little wary of how I'll react...I've done a lot of reading about it & it should be interesting...

Well...I have to get ready to head over to the notary...more later...